METAL GEAR RISING: REVENGEANCE IS FUCKING FUN. YOU NEED TO BUY IT.
YOU NEED TO PLAY IT. YOU NEED TO LIVE IT.

VOTE RAIDEN FOR PRESIDENT 2014.

p.s. made the meme myself.

~~~UPDATE !!!~~~
GIF VERSION !!!

Unlike its older siblings, Batman Arkham Origins wasn't made by Rocksteady.
The "brainchild" of Warner Bros Games Montreal, this game is inferior to its predecessors.

The game feels more like a pricey expansion pack for Arkham City than a full, stand-alone game.
Most of the gadgets return (which is kind of a paradox), with slight re-skins or tiny adjustments, to make them seem new.
The doublehook, or the ice grenade, for example.

They did try to expand the city, but for more than obvious reasons; to prolong the game.
But, because they were aware that most of the gamers out there would find it tedious, they implemented fast-travel via the Batwing, which then completely removes the point of a much larger city.

The inexperience of the crew that made the game shows so easily ingame.

One of the biggest design flaws that I noticed while playing was a simple pathing issue.
I'm kind of loose when it comes to said issues, I try not to hold it against the games I like,
and I WAS RATHER EXCITED for this game. You know, high hopes and all.
Why wouldn't I be, Asylum and City were way more than decent games.
But I just couldn't hide the disappointment with this game.

The problem manifests itself at about half the game in, where you enter a hotel in Gotham.

Spoiler alert.

You go through an amusement park-like contraption that our beloved Joker left for us,
you pick up some things, you make progress.
Now, the issue I was referring to concerns a balcony you end up on when you go through the whole ordeal.
There's a story-related trigger involved after this point that takes you out of the hotel entirely, and you never have to go back on foot, but when pathing back through this room (if you're a completionist, and you're chasing trophies and whatnot),
you can clearly see the doorway that you need to take in order to leave the room.
The doorway is unobstructed and the only logical thing you'd have to do is use your cape and simply glide to the door, and leave the room.
I guess that was too simple for WBG Montreal, and they decided "NOPE, YOU BETTER GO THROUGH THE WHOLE ROOM ON FOOT, BECAUSE WE CANT HAVE YOU TAKE A 2 MINUTE SHORTCUT, NO SIR".
When trying to glide to said door, the game triggers a pitfall event and puts you back on the balcony.

Sloppy game design. Very very sloppy game design.

Upon launch there were many, MANY bugs. Game crashing for no apparent reason,
unresponsive commands, game-breaking glitches (one of the broadcast towers simply locks you inside, and you cant progress unless you load a check point, leaving that one place unresolved), and so on.

Also WBG Montreal clearly decided to make the ratio of Combat-to-Stealth much higher, since there's so many goddamn fights involved, and not enough stealth sections.
It was so fun playing with thugs and hoodlums in Arkham City or Asylum, hanging them from gargoyles, tackling them from ventilation shafts and whatnot.
Here, nnnnnot so much.

I'm not sure if this was a game problem, but this is my own experience.
The fighting doesn't feel the same. It feels more sluggish, slower, unresponsive.
Some fighting animations could not be interrupted unlike in Arkham City,
and you'd just get hit by common thugs over and over.
I've had many gameovers by thug-beatdown because of unresponsive controls.

Like weapons, everything else in the game is recycled in some way, shape or form.
The Riddler trophies are back, and I'm fine with that. It was a nice little puzzle sidequest,
for when you felt like taking a break from bashing skulls in.
But there's stuff to scan again, there's the same find-all-signs-solve-all-things-to-make-a-mysterious-character-appear, and I personally have a problem with that.

To anyone who has played the other two Arkham games, its more than clear that WBG Montreal simply didnt bother with their game.
They sat down around a table, decided they'll just cash-in on an existing franchise,
recycle EVERYTHING from the previous game,
and use the rest of the budget they had to hire someone to write a decent story at least.

Half-assed villains with completely forgettable faces and personalities (I seem to recall there was some kind of a snake-girl or something, but meh), 
too much bloody fighting, not enough stealth scenes, bugs, and multiplayer.

Yes, you've read that right. A Batman Arkham game has MULTIPLAYER. 

Now, I have to admit, I did NOT finish this game. I got to about 70%, and then I just outright stopped playing.
The game didn't hold any interest for me, there was nothing pulling me back to play it,
no "leash-tugging", no promise of excitement, nothing.

For all of this, BATMAN: ARKHAM ORIGINS gets a

~WARNER BROS GAMES MONTEREAL / 10~

*Phew*
There, I'm done with this review. Fuckin' just, put it to rest, and let it die peacefully.
Now where's my 3DS and my Zelda games... *rummages*

~~~~ UPDATE ~~~~

FANART !!! BIT-RANT HAS FANART O_______O

Here's a Cali-Batman, making sure Gotham is safe, and all the criminals and thugs piss their pants before going to bed~
Also, the Moon is either derpy or lonely. Or whistling at the sight of Calibutt.

This awesome chibi-masterpiece was done by majortom, thank you so much !!!

I got into such a nostalgia-trip lately, and this playlist has been found guilty for said nostalgia-trip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWBf7Ncd8UE&list=PL14F3B38835350019

This is a complete playlist of the soundtrack of Streets of Rage Remake (which I'll do a review for in the upcoming days),
the soundtrack is absolutely mindblowing-awesome if you're into the 80's to 90's tunes.

Give it a whirl !

This game sucks balls.
Not in a good way.

That is all.

I'll do the rest of the review tomorrow, when I feel more inspired to bullshit.

 

Mini Reviews !!!

This is something I figured I'd do when either I don't have time,
or the game doesn't really have that much for me to talk about, but I feel that it still deserves attention.

So, without further delay, I'd like to introduce you to...

Steamworld Dig is a sort of a sandboxie game where you dig for ore underground,
surface back up, sell your wares, and go back deeper into the earth.
So, much like Motherload. Except SWD has a twist to it.

To put it sweet and short, it's like Motherload, Dig-Dug and Metroid had a bastard child after a wicked threesome.
You play as Rusty, a Steambot who arrives at a small desert mining town of Tumbleton,
ready to inherit a mine from his Uncle Joe. Yeah, I know, apparently robots have Uncles.
Driven by curiosity (and greed), you delve into the mines in search of truth about what happened to your Uncle, who hasn't been seen in quite a while.

Steam World Dig plays much like a classic platformer, with a few additions.
You run, jump, whack enemies and collect stuff.
Using the tools at your disposal, you're able to break blocks and uncover various treasure that you can sell in town, and buy much needed upgrades for Rusty.
During your underground expeditions, you will stumble upon caverns and mineshafts which either hold an upgrade for Rusty (Story related),
or caverns that hold valuable ore and resources you can use to purchase upgrades (optional).
The caverns are usually some form of a puzzle, and often require the use of one,
or more of Rusty's story-related upgrades to "solve".
Speaking of "story-related items", since Rusty is a Steambot all of his upgrades are powered by water, which can be found underground in small pools,
and jumping into said pool will make Rusty absorb the water, filling up his water tanks.

The game itself requires much backtracking,
because you end up going up'n'down whenever your inventory fills up.
Your backpack has upgradeable slots that hold the minerals you mine from the ground, 
and each kind of minerals uses up a single slot and stacks up to a certain number of units. 
Some stacks can hold up to 3 or 4, some only slot one single mineral.
You can, if needed, dispose of something already inside your backpack to pick up something new, but since the despawn time of mined items is rather large,
you don't really need to worry about it.
Killed enemies, on the other hand, drop one of three items; a health item, a water replenishment item, or an item that adds to the flame in Rusty's chest-furnace,
allowing you more time spent underground with the lights on.

Steamworld Dig, even if seemingly repetitive, is quite fun and I've personally been unable to drop the controller until I've finished it.
You're always curious about what you'll stumble upon next, and if you're a lootwhore like me, you'll want all the stuff you can get,
both from mining underground and surface shops.

Sweet graphics, easy-to-learn controls, fun gameplay and an interesting story should be enough of a reason for you to grab this awesome indie game.

It's available on Steam right now, for under 9 Euros and, while I'm typing out this review, 
it's on 20% off, for just a bit over 7 Eu's.
Not saying you can't google-search it or whatever,
but supporting the indie guys is always a good idea. ¬.¬

Steamworld Dig gets an 8 out of 10 on our indie-games scale.

http://www.steamworldgames.com/dig/
http://store.steampowered.com/app/252410

Apparently, surge protectors do SHIT about surges.

My PSU just died, and that killed my NIntendo 3DS fund. FML.
Merry Fucking Christmas Cali. Ho ho ho.


*facedesks*

P.S. Reviews coming soon. Don't ask, I'll bite.

Hey everyone.
Just letting people know I haven't died or anything,
but sadly I have a huge writers block that's preventing me from even writing out a child's rhyme,
let alone a coherent text, like a review or anything.

But I'm working on it, I promise ! D:

WIP up 'till now: Batman Arkham Origins, Shadow Warrior, Volgarr.